he turned 23.
called my brother today. he turned 23.
this is the first time i talked to him in probably a month. i should be happy but why are my hands shaking and my eyes welling up. god i feel so raw.
god i miss him.
and the other him 
i miss home. i miss my sisters and my dog. and who would have thought i’d miss my dad as well. apparently daddy is a hit back home for all his weird experiments, cool.
but wow thailand. my fave place to vacation in turned out to be almost hellish to live in.
maybe it’s because nothing beats being with the people you love.
but then again i have found people here who i know i’ll treasure forever. learned a lot more about myself. learned about Filipinos. experienced a lot of extreme sunny weather and even got a tan - unwillingly!
i just wish things were clearer.
haven’t prayed properly in a long time. maybe that’s why i’ve been getting so much bad luck. still, i believe. i guess i’m in closing cycles again. thanks paulo coehlo - yooo soooo smart.
anyways, dan happy birthday! love you big little brother. who would have thought the guy who i used to beat up would get so big? fatso.
